What has been going well? This week I would like to talk about how fear keeps us stuck.
Think about any activity or opportunity you have been tentative or chose not to engage in. Applying for a job or a promotion. Reaching out to a friend you haven’t talk to in awhile. Asking for help. If you have been wanting to do such things but haven’t, the primary reason is likely to involve a fear of something. “I didn’t call or follow up with that company because I was afraid I wouldn’t be offered the job.” “I didn’t ask her out because she might have said no.” “I can’t go to that family party because people will ask me a bunch of questions and I wouldn’t know how to answer them.” “If I ask for help, I will be judged as a loser or weak.” If such dialogue sounds familiar, then fear is holding you back. What if you were not afraid? What might you do, if you weren’t afraid? Think about what you want to do (without adding the but…). Describe how you would feel if it goes well. Keep in mind that before you do something, you are the one deciding how it is going to go. Remember, we talk ourselves out of things, which means we can talk ourselves in to things. What if you decide that it is going to go well? How we think is very influential in how things turn out. This is because how we think influences not only how we feel but how we act. Think about the different activities you do. Those that you feel very confident in are activities you think positively of and are motivated to do. Activities you think are difficult or that you can’t do are activities you will avoid doing. If you want to do something but are afraid for whatever reason, imagine not being afraid. Imagine being successful. Describe how it would feel to be successful. Describe how doing what you want will impact your life. If you apply for that job or promotion and get it, then what? If you call that friend and reconnect, then what?
What if you weren’t afraid? What do you want to do?