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I just want to feel more stable.

Hello everyone,

What has been going well this past week?

Lately, my blogs have been focusing on feeling stuck and how to change.  What if you are changing all the time? Sometimes we struggle with our moods fluctuating too much. Sometimes we may cater to others or our situation.  We might go along with whatever everyone else wants so as to not rock the boat. This can lead to regrets and lots of emotional ups and downs.  As a result, you may wish to be more emotionally stable. You may wish you could figure out what you really want instead of just agreeing with everyone else.

In order to feel more emotionally stable, it is important to create routine.  This means going to bed around the same time each night and waking up in the morning around the same time.  I know that some of you may be thinking that routine equals boring.  You may be thinking, “I’m a creative and free kind of person.  I don’t like schedules.” So, let me  explain.  You don’t need to schedule each hour of your day.  The purpose of routine is predictability.  Often our anxieties revolve around uncertainty and worrying about the unknown.  By creating routine, we create more consistency in our daily life. Routine can also provide direction and purpose.  These all create more stability.

In order to develop a better understanding of who we are and how we want to be, we need to be willing to try things.  One thing to try is making a list of activities, interests and hobbies.  After listing at least twenty, go back through the list and rate your interest of each one on a scale of 0-10.  The next step is to try each one, two or three times and rate how much you liked it after each time you try it.  If you find that you automatically accommodate to do what others want to do try to be consciously aware of this.  Each time you are in such a situation try to identify at least one alternative activity and rate both options.  By doing so, you will start to find your voice.  You will also slow things down.  You won’t be as impulsive to do what others want.  You will start to think about what you want.

For more ideas of how to regulate your emotions and take charge of how you want to be, think about joining my new group starting in June.  It involves 14 weeks of learning how to apply the principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  There will be group meetings, email and text support from me.  The group meetings will be in my West Chester office.  Please email me if you are interested in joining.

Best Regards,

~ Dr. Lou


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