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How to take it in.

Hello Everyone, In the past week, what can you think of to make yourself smile? Last week I wrote about letting go.   This week I would like to focus on how to take it in.  Often when we have struggled with poor self-esteem, lack of confidence, worries, depression, etc… we also struggle to accept or take in the positives.  Someone pays us a compliment and we minimize it or flat out deny it to ourselves.  “He’s just saying that”.  “If they really knew me…” How do you change the process of believing the negative to taking in and accepting…

How to let go.

Hello Everyone, What are five positive things that have happened to you in the last two weeks? Take a moment and think about them, remember them, and smile. Focusing on the positive moments in our lives helps in feeling good. But what about events and experiences that hurt? How do you let go and move on? If you are struggling there is a good chance that people who are “trying to help” have told you to, “just move on” and to “let it go”. How do you do that? Significant events that have strong emotions associated with it are likely…

But I want it now!!!

Hi Everyone, Another week to add to the list of positives in your life! I realize that my optimism and push to look at the positives might really piss some people off. If it does, my guess is that there are few if any positives coming your way. Perhaps, you or someone you care about is dying. Perhaps you or someone is unemployed or hates their job. Perhaps you have chronic pain and know that it won’t get any better. These and other similar situations are awful. Sure you can put a positive spin on anything but really? The bottom…

Why bother?

Hello Everyone, What has been going well? If this is a tough question to answer, you might sometimes be questioning, “why bother?”. As the case may often be, life is challenging.  Some days and weeks, perhaps even months are stressful and overwhelming.  Perhaps the job is not going well.  Perhaps someone you believe to be a slacker just got a promotion.  Perhaps someone else in your life just got diagnosed with an illness or passed away.  Perhaps your medications still aren’t helping.  Perhaps your relationship continues to be strained or lacking conversation or connection. With all of these stressors we…

How do you make your meatloaf?

Hello Everyone, So what are five positives about your past week? Go ahead take a moment to write them down or at least think about them. I can wait…… Okay, this week I’d like to tell you a story. It’s one I’ve been telling for many years. So many that I forget who actually told it to me. You’ll see the relevance to you shortly. There once was a guy who loved his girlfriend’s meatloaf. He asked if he could watch her make it one Sunday and of course she said sure. She started by getting the ground meat and…

Is it okay to feel sad?

Hello Everyone, Hope you have been noticing what’s going well. I know I usually start every blog with a reminder to notice and pay attention to the positives. This doesn’t mean that I am suggesting you ignore the negative experiences we ALL have. I am not suggesting we put on the rose colored glasses and just see the world as this wonderful happy place where nothing bad happens. The truth is if you are keeping score, there are many points on the negative side of the score board. Some days the negative may outnumber the positive. Although I believe this…

It’s about managing whatever life presents.

Hi Everyone, Well it has been another week, what has gone well? This week I’d like to focus on a rather broad topic – life! As you know, life can be quite complex. Throughout our lives, there will be good times, bad times, stressful times, sad times, worry times, happy times, exciting times, all kinds of times. In many ways the goal in life is to learn how to manage our lives regardless of the time. The various strategies and ideas I write about in this blog tends to target helping those struggling with depression or anxiety. However, the truth…

Am I focused on the problem or the solution?

Hello Everyone, What has been going well lately? Take a moment and identify at least five positives that occurred in the past few days. If you are continuing to read that means you have listed five positives, right??? So this week I wanted to have you think about and possibly answer the following question. “Am I focused on the problem or the solution?” Read over the following scenarios and see if you can relate. – Katie is struggling to fall asleep. She watches the minutes on the clock go past and wonders when she will fall asleep. She thinks about…

Go change your shirt!

Hello Everyone, The last few blogs have been about changing our thoughts. I know many of you have been working on this for some time. It is hard work and can sometimes feel like there is little to no progress. What often happens is the following: Janice has been struggling with negative self-iamge and low self-esteem for as long as she can remember. She is taking an anti-depressant and a mood stabilizer as well as an anti-anxiety medication. She started cognitive therapy in the past 6 weeks and working on challenging and replacing her negative thinking patterns. She is using…

What script are you reading?

Hello everyone, What’s going well? Hope you are taking time to notice and acknowledge all that is good. This week I want to focus on our thoughts. I know surprise! A cognitive therapist wants to focus on thoughts – haha. Anyway, when someone has struggled for sometime with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, etc. he or she tends to be repeating a script. The script, as you might imaging is often quite negative. It might sound something like the following: “You can’t do that. You’re just not good enough. It’s too scary and besides, it won’t matter. You…

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