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How will you get what you want?

Hello Everyone, What has been going well in the past couple weeks? Is this what you want? Sometimes what we want seems impossible. If we focus too much on what we can’t have, we might get stuck thinking, “If I can’t have what I want then I won’t have anything”.  This is black-n-white thinking or sometimes called All-or-Nothing thinking. Think about what you want and what you need to do to have it.  Most things worth having are worth working for.  These typically take some time to achieve as well.  In order to maintain motivation, and to not feel overwhelmed, break…

Is it reality?

Hello Everyone, How has your journey been since last week? This week I would like to focus on acceptance.  Every day we accept certain things.  We accept that if we want something to eat, we might have to get up and get something.  We accept that if we want to be warmer, we might have to put on a sweatshirt.  We might accept having to do someone else’s work on a group project, if we want the project to be done well and on time.  Notice that in these examples of accepting things we also want something. Sometimes when we accept…

Let’s go on a journey.

Hello Everyone, How far across the floor did you get this week?  Remember, every step we take gets us closer to where we want to go. Although moving forward is important in order to reach our goals, it is also important to just be.  Sometimes this can be difficult.  Just sitting and being might give way to random and racing thoughts, which could lead to worries. You could be trying to relax yet thinking of all that you need to do.  Like time, things to do will never stop. Whether we are sitting and relaxing or working there are typically…

“Soon, you’ll be walking cross the floor.”

Hello Everyone, What steps did you take this past week?  This question is specific and does not imply a response describing what you did not do or what you wanted to do.  What steps did you take toward your goal of what you want? Thinking about what you want is a step.  Deciding that you want, to want to take a step is a step forward too.  Remember, you can break anything down into smaller steps.  If you read my book, “When You Can’t Snap Out of it”, remember the description of how many steps it takes to make and…

One step at a time.

Hello everyone, So what was your progress? More importantly, what was your action this week? Remember, last week I pointed out some things you could do to take charge of how you want to feel.  The primary step involves you taking action.  There is a quote I have on one of my office walls that says, “Once you have the grocery list, you need to go shopping”. That quote means that just having ideas, strategies, advice, and suggestions produces little to no change.  It is using those strategies, ideas, etc… that makes the change. Now some of you may have…

Can how you think influence how you feel?

Hello Everyone, What made you smile this past week?  Take a few minutes and think about it.  Review what made you smile.  I bet that as you started thinking about it, you started to smile again!  If thinking about something can make you smile, can thinking about something influence how you feel? Let’s test it out. Repeat the following statements. I can never measure up. I won’t ever be happy. Nobody really cares about me. Nothing can work for me. If you focus on these and similar thoughts how do you feel? Now try these statements. I am good. I…

Extending and challenging the story.

Hello Everyone, Hope you have been having a good week.  Have you been spending time finding the “good” or finding the “fault”? This week I want to talk about breaking free of obsessing and ruminating over worries.   When we get bogged down with worries, we often are focused on certain aspects of a situation.  If you have struggled to fall asleep lately, you might be worried that, “tonight I am not going to be able to fall asleep”.  Perhaps you have been out of work and are focused on how you haven’t been working.  If a family gathering is…

Are you a “fault finder” or “good finder”?

Hello Everyone, Last week I asked you to identify the best part of you.  I would like to continue on that theme and ask you to expand your list. When someone struggles with being depressed or anxious chances are they also struggle with feeling worthy or valuable.  This can be difficult to do for various reasons.  Many of us find it to be an easier task to find the good in others.  When it comes to ourselves, we tend to feel uncomfortable.  One reason might be a fear of sounding arrogant or conceited. Arrogance and conceit has to do with…

What do you enjoy?

Hello Everyone, Normally I start each blog asking you to think about the best part of your week, month or past couple of days.  This week I’d like you to identify the best part of you! Many individuals who are feeling overwhelmed, down, or depressed tend to be unsatisfied with some aspect of their life.  More specifically they tend to be unsatisfied with some aspect about themselves.  When any of us over focus on the negatives about our lives or ourselves we can predict that they will feel bad.  All of us have weaknesses.  Some say it is important to…

Are you stable?

Hello Everyone, January is almost over.  Looking back on the past month, what was good? This week I wanted to discuss the idea of being stable.  What does that mean to you?  If you have struggled with severe depression, being stable could mean not sleeping as much, not drinking, cutting, or being suicidal.  Perhaps it could mean noticing more positives in your life.  Maybe being stable means not having any outbursts (emotional, verbal, or even physical).  To me being stable has to do with being balanced in some way.  Perhaps you were working an excessive amount for the last few…

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